TTY... (Or a parody of Tortured Tangled Hearts)

Here is a parody on a Dixie Chicks song:

It does not, I guarantee, make fun or bad comments about them.

However, it was the song that suited my purpose.


But you must keep scrolling down.



Muhahahaah!






Down.



Tortured, Tangled Yarn (Tortured Tangled Hearts)

Well, there was a little tangle (Well there was a little falter)
In that none center-pull skein (At the alter of confession)
As I was a-windin, (Down on its knees)
It brought me to my knees (True love did fall)
After several minutes of (After thirty one days of)
Ineffectual pulling, (Sleepless nights)
I gave up and (She woke up to)
Left the room (End it all)
With 880 yards in that skein(With "I love you" on a fresh tatoo)
All tangled up (Engraved upon his chest)
It took several hours and much work (She tore her name right off his heart)
So here's to the untangler! (So here's to the unblessed)

Oh, yarn, oh yarn, you fickle thing (Oh love, oh love, you fickle thing)
Such beautiful colorways and lovely skeins (Such pretty words and golden rings)
It was a mistake to wind without a swift (It was a broken dream right from the start)
Bless the tortured tangled yarn. (Bless their tortured, tangled hearts)

Well, if you do this, (Well, a blast of confusion)
Be sure you're willing (Coupled with delusion)
To commit time and trouble (Makes the best layed plans)
A shawl's worth the work (Sometimes fail)
To me, but perhaps not to you (They wined and they dined)
So be warned, this don't do. (Had peace of mind)
I wound and wound (She bought a gown)
And wound some more (And he rented tails)
For a spongy ball of yarn. (But the might cloud of destiny)
I started the shawl (Came drifting through the gates)
And created 5 snowdrops to date. (And busted up what could have been )
(A perfect hopeless case)

(Repeat chorus twice)

Oh yarn, Oh yarn, you fickle thing,
Such silky fibers and pretty string
It was a tangled dream right from the start
Bless that tortured tangled yarn.

Oh yarn, Oh yarn, you fickle thing,
Such beautiful colorways and lovely skeins
It was a broken dream right from the start
Bless the tortured tangled yarn.


I was trying, as you might guess from a bit of a reference in my rather bad parody, to make this pattern from here with this yarn from here. (BTW, the link to the pattern will open a PDF, which could possibly cause a case of slowness of the computer.... So if opening PDFs is a problem, go to the "here" link for the pattern and it is the second project linked on the right side that the author designed. ) I can do better than this, but I didn't. Curious question: am I doing something wrong because my shawl looks more finished/less messy than I think it ought to?
Also: The yarn splurges are indefinately cancelled.
I am very busy with schoolwork. Oh the pull of WIPs!